Speed's RAW Review - Week of 7/28/2014

Alright, I put it off long enough. Apologies in advance if this isn't your typical Speed on the Beat-delivered post, but that's how "ugh" I was at this week. This week's episode of RAW took the sadness of last week's and added in more Brie (read: the cheese and the wife of Daniel Bryan). Of course, as with last week's episode, not everything was complete booty juice.

At least there was booty.

But, I digress.

This week's episode featured, in no real order:

• The PG version of Jericho's run-down of Steph McMahon, complete with a Scott Steiner-esque "SHUT UP!" from Triple H to run over Jericho actually saying "ho" on TV. Wait, you can have your wife called a bitch numerous times--even Pedigree her before you get married, which led to an epic nipslip if you let the pervs tell it. But when she's called a "ho," then we're crossing a line, amiright?
• Cena delivering an epic TV match (gasp), but still overcoming the odds after having the crap kicked out of him and top-rope AA'ing Cesaro (not surprised).
• Brock Lesnar a great promo between Cena (I gave him props twice today, sue me), which lead to Cesaro delivering what was, to me, a pretty unconvincing promo. Truthful comments be damned, it wasn't that convincing. And convincing promos always trump truthful ones (and when they go hand-in-hand, like with CM Punk That One Wrasslin' Guy's Pipebomb, it's heaven).
• Something with the Nu Nation appearing at ringside during an Usos match, looking on like not very threatening black men.
• Paige continuing her floundering on the main roster. Now, let it be clear: I like Paige. I like Paige's bum also, but that's another story. But, since she's appeared on the main roster, she isn't getting over to me like I'd hoped she would. Paige beating AJ Lee down isn't exactly "anti-Diva" behavior. Instead, it showcases her as a run-of-the-mill, chickensh*t heel. 
• Brie Bella (yay?) with Stephanie McMahon (double yay?) in a main event spot, where they called each other bitches and catfought! Hey Steph, Joey Styles is somewhere shaking his head that this "catfight" wasn't a CATTTTTFIGHTTTTT!!!! And as evident with AJ Lee/Paige, you can still have a PG catfight (Smackdown spoilers FTW)
• Adam Rose ('nuff said)
• Anal--I mean, Lana speaking in her accent, and Zeb coming out to put over 'Murrica! As if the US needed anymore putting over? Haven't you seen Wrestlemania VII?
• Bo Dallas losing to R-Troof R-Truth ending Bo Dallas' streak in a squash, then getting his head kicked in by Bo (which, per spoilers, is a recurring theme this week).
• That "intense" brawl between Randy Orton and Roman Reigns. Seriously, that was the most-chill all-around-the-arena beatdown I've seen in a while. Oh, and it had some Botchamania fodder, which is always good.

This episode seriously got to the point where I just turned it off, loaded up a DS, and started playing Pokemon Y. Yes, I play Pokemon Y and own a DS. It was my soon-to-be-wife's idea, since we--y'know what, I don't have to explain myself to you. stopped watching (I was in the middle of a live tweet broadcast on the EOTR account) and walked away in sadness.

In other news, Celeste Bonin (f/k/a Kaitlyn) wrote a pretty awesome post on PWMania about her feelings about being in WWE. No, it's not "I HATE THIS CRAP! RAWR!" like you hear from some former talent. Plus, being from Baltimore, to have her debut and leave in Baltimore, it's pretty cool.

Until next time.