The Rock and Triple H... One Last Time.

Wrestlemania 28, Triple H, HBK, and The Undertaker put on a classic Hell in a Cell match and in my opinion, one of the greatest storytelling displays ever. I'll never forget jumping out of my seat when The Undertaker kicked out of the Sweet Chin Music/Pedigree combo that I was sure was gonna end the streak. The match was rightfully so billed “The End of an Era” Match, a final chapter in the WM 25-28 Saga that involved all 3 Superstars.

However, due to HBK's involvement in 3 of those 4 matches, I could look at that 4 match stretch as more of a end to the HBK/Taker rivalry as the buildup to 28 focused on whether or not Triple H was better than Shawn after Taker raised that question....but what about Triple H?

Enter...The Rock. On Friday's episode of Smackdown, he and Triple H engaged in an absolutely brilliant promo where the both of them went back and forth about who would win in one last Wrestlemania match. I hadn't even thought of wanting to see Trips and Rock in a match again until that promo. It made me want to see that buildup and all that came with it. It also made me think that this should be the match that the two of them should end their careers on. Much is made of the Stone Cold/Rock rivalry and it should be, it's one of the greatest rivalries ever and gave us 3 classic Wrestlemania matches and multiple memorable moments between them. But when I think of a true career ending moment for The Rock and Triple H, the only match that makes sense is the two of them, one last time.

Their careers have basically paralleled each other and at every major turn, one was fighting the other. From the great IC Title Ladder Match they had and subsequent battles for the belt afterward, to Rock taking over the Nation of Domination and Trips forming DX, to both men fighting over the WWE Championship, whenever one made that next step the other moved right with him.

This rivalry extends outside of the ring as well, Triple H found success working as the COO of WWE and The Rock has made his own name in Hollywood. HHH has even said that he sees The Rock tweeting about getting up at 4 AM and working out thinking to himself  “that son of a bitch, I can do that too”. They still have that professional rivalry with each other born out of the respect they have for one another having basically come up together. Stone Cold might have been The Rock's biggest rival, but I've always felt that Triple H was Rock's true rival. The buildup for one last match at Wrestlemania is pretty much set with their history and with Rock sounding like himself the last two promos, I'd love to see them go at it on the mic.

With the history these two men have, it's only right that they end their careers finally going one on one at Wrestlemania. I wasn't too keen on it before, but after seeing that they still had the chemistry to cut a great promo together, I’m anxious to see them both go at it in what would be a true End of and Era for the both of them.

Be sure to follow the site  @Eyesonthering and follow me @peagle05.

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Eyes on the Ring 9:08 AM  No comment

Dream Match Series: CJ's Top 5 Dream Matches

As a wrestling fan, particularly a WWE fan, things tend to become stale and uninteresting. A fun thing to do is to think of dream match-ups, pick your favorite stars and wonder what it would be like to see them go head-to-head. In that spirit, here are my top 5 dream matches. 

5. Daniel Bryan vs. Eddie Guerrero 

You wouldn't even need a big build-up to this match, or some crazy storyline. Have Bryan come out and challenge Eddie, just to see who the best in the ring really is. These two would put on a 5-star classic. Both like to move at a fast pace, both have devastating moves in their arsenals, and both are complete ring technicians and incredibly smooth. This would be one for the ages. 

4. The Four Horsemen vs. NWO 

   Arguably the two biggest and most influential factions in history, going at it to see who reigns supreme. The hall of fame horsemen(Flair, Tully, Barry, Arn) squaring off against the core members of the NWO(Nash, Hall, Hogan, Giant). Put these guys in a Survivor Series-esque elimination tag match, and let the moments happen. 

3. Sting vs. Undertaker 

   Since the Monday night wars, a match between Sting and Undertaker has been debated. With Sting recently signing with WWE, there is still a chance that this match could be possible. Both are staples and legends in the industry, and there is no doubt that this would be an entertaining back-and-forth contest. 

2. Bret Hart vs. Kurt Angle 

  

Two of the most elite workers the business has ever seen. Hart and Angle in a submission match would be one of the most intense technical clinics ever. Both have the capability to show you what true wrestling is all about, and with the mutual respect between the two, you know that both would give every ounce of energy that have to win this match. 

1. CM Punk vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin 

Ever since CM Punk came to prominence in 2011, the question has been asked: What would happen if the straight-edge, old-school Punk went one-on-one with the beer-swinging, mudhole-stomping Stone Cold Steve Austin?  What would happen is a box office main event. Both have the ability to control the emotions of millions, and you would witness one of the loudest, most dead-even crowds in history. It would truly be one that you would have to see to believe.

-@YourBuddyCJ 

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Eyes on the Ring 8:55 AM  No comment

ROH TV Review 10/11/14

Ring Of Honor Wrestling review – Airdate: 10/11/14

By Nathan Neumann @Headliner5 on Twitter

What’s up wrestling fans, I’m back for the first time in a while with an all-new Ring Of Honor TV Review.  It’s been a while but ROH is finally back on track with their TV show airing the first episode from their most recent batch of tapings, so lets get right down to business and on to the review shall we?

The show kicks off with a recap of Ring Of Honor’s All Star Extravaganza 6, which took place on September 6, 2014.  We saw how Jay Briscoe went on to defeat Michael Elgin to become the second man in Ring Of Honor history to win the Ring Of Honor World Heavyweight Championship on more than one occasion. 

The champion made his way out to the ring and said that the second go around would be a lot different than the first.  He also made reference to the redneck world championship (the championship that Jay Briscoe created) and said that he wants it back, but in order to get it back he would have to go through Michael Bennett and Maria Kanellis to reclaim the belt(that is now Pink with fur on it and is rechristened the “Title Of Love)

Adam Cole comes out and says that himself and Jay Briscoe have never liked each other. Cole then says that he is the one that deserves the first opportunity at the World Heavyweight Championship. Whether or not this happens remains to be seen, but this was a really good way to start off the show.

Back from a commercial and the members of The Decade are shown arguing backstage about who will win tonight’s honor rumble.

The first match is up and here we go.

Match 1

Moose and RD Evans vs. Red Scorpion and Grey Wolf

Result: Red Evans picks up the win after Moose hits a spear on both Scorpion and Wolf

Thoughts: This match… well it was a match....I’ll just put it that way, I’m a big fan of RD Evans, but one guy can’t make a match work when multiple men are involved.  Too many cooks in the kitchen make for a very volatile situation and that’s exactly what we had here.  I’ve made no bones about it in my past reviews, I’m not a fan of Moose because he does nothing for me.  Having said that I actually enjoyed him in this match because his opponents were quite frankly more annoying than he was.  Red Scorpion and Grey Wolf are two huge muscle bound freaks that look like they came out of the 80’s. They are a cross between the Legion Of Doom, Powers Of Pain, and Demolition. Well probably Powers of Pain because these guys SUCK.  When I watch ROH I prefer smaller wrestlers because it fits their style a lot better, but when you start bringing in bigger guys like Scorpion and Wolf and to some extent Moose it ruins the entire idea and concept of the promotion to me.  Plus I’m not real keen on overly gimmicky gimmicks in Ring Of Honor because they have no place within the promotion.  That said this match was nothing special, if you missed it I wouldn’t recommend watching it outside of RD Evans. RD Evans was good on the comedy shtick which made it watchable, but if you are like me and don’t like muscle bound freaks in ROH then this match should probably be skipped.

Match 2

Honor Rumble

Winner gets a shot at the ROH World Championship on ROH TV in two weeks

Result: Michael Bennett wins the match last eliminating Mark Briscoe

Thoughts: First of all I’m not a fan of Honor Rumbles, I saw one live and it was cool and all but doing one on TV was a bit weird because they don’t have the cameras to cover it.  Too much was happening at once and it made for a weird match.  Jay Lethal and ACH started things off fast and furiously for one minute before Tadarius Thomas made his way out.  Lethal immediately went to try and work out a deal with Thomas so that he would help him eliminate ACH, but Thomas wasn’t having it at all.  Next in the ring was J Diesel who wastes no time in eliminating ACH.  Diesel then eliminated Tadarius Thomas before entrant number five came out, which was The Romantic Touch. Touch didn’t last long, he was eliminated by Lethal and Diesel who were working together. Adam Cole made his way into the match as did Brutal Bob Evans.  Evans didn’t last long at all as he was almost immediately eliminated followed by Jay Lethal.  Out next was Roderick Strong who was jumped by Tommaso Ciampa for some reason.  The next entrant after that was Bobby Fish, but by the time he had gotten in, his partner Kyle O’Reilly was already eliminated.  That’s what sucks about battle royals like these, so much goes on and you miss eliminations.  The final four men in the match were Mark Briscoe, Cheeseburger, Adam Cole, and Michael Bennett.  Michael Bennett would win the match last eliminating Mark Briscoe to earn himself a World Title Opportunity at Jay Briscoe in two weeks time.

Final Thoughts: Not a bad show by any stretch of the imagination, but not great either. I wouldn’t recommend going out of your way to see it because Battle Royals are never that special (unless you're into that sort of thing) and the opening tag match wasn’t good at all.  This was only the first night in the new set of tapings but this week’s show just didn’t deliver. Did I still enjoy it? Yes because I always find enjoyment in watching ROH, but this week’s show was definitely a show I will not write home about (even though I’m currently writing this). Besides that, the show gets a thumbs down from me. Not bad necessarily, but not what I like to see from Ring Of Honor. 

Well that will do it for me and this weeks review so until next week fans, I am Nathan your ROH reviewer saying so long and keep your eyes on the ring.  Also be sure and visit eyesonthering.blogspot.com as well as blogtalkradio.com/eyesonthering to give Eyes On The Ring Radio a listen.

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Eyes on the Ring 8:42 AM  No comment

Fantasy Booking: The Dream Match Series

Today, we will look at dream matches in two different perspectives. The first perspective is for Wrestlemania 31. The second perspective is on matches that we've never seen happen period. If you pay attention, you'll see some matches actually coincide. Jon and Nathan teamed up for this interesting concept, so let's get started. This list was done by @BigJonDaLegend, and it's for Wrestlemania 31. The list is as follows. 

The Rock vs Dean Ambrose  

My first match would be Dean Ambrose vs The Rock: The Unhinged one vs The Great One. Now I don't see Ambrose turning heel anytime soon so this will be a face vs face match up. The WWE Universe has enough love for both to go around right? This match would ideal make Dean Ambrose as the official leader of the new era of WWE. As Ambrose isn't really PG rated kind of guy but he's not full blown attitude era either. Then you have the Rock. who's gonna give you greatness on the Mic. I mean just these two talking will sell out an arena alone. The match should at least a 4star if not match of the night.  

 The Undertaker vs Sting

If The Undertaker is going to wrestle one more time even tho the streak isn't on the line it should be against one man, one legend, the one and only Icon Sting. Just to make it mean even more careers should be put on the line.. Sting has never wrestled in WWE so any life long wrestling fan has imagined the great things he would accomplish if he had joined WWE instead of TNA after WCW was purchased . They don't need much time to tell the story that they want to tell, but we all would be emotional invested in the outcome. The Deadman shocking lost last year but does he have enough pride and fight in him to defeat Sting. And can sting a man career is nothing short of the hall of fame beat the Deadman at the event he had dominated for so many years. 

Triple H vs Bray Wyatt 

Wyatt beats to a different drum while Triple H leads the authority. The King of Kings loves nothing more than to shine bright over the active roster but Bray is the eater of world's and loves the darkness. Kayfabe or not, Bray needs a big time match this year and he deserves it, as his promo and vignette work has been amazing. He is not the typical anti authority character, but HHH isn't the typical authority figure. Their storyline would be great and pretty organic with HHH putting Bray over, which is best for business. 

Brock Lesnar vs Cesaro  

Brock hasn't fought anyone who hadn't previously crossed paths with except he who shall not be mentioned *cough *cough CM Punk . This would be a fresh match for fans to see and care about. Also gets the Swiss Superman a chance to showcase his strength against a legit bad Ass. Add Paul Heyman and the fact that Cesaro is a former Paul Heyman guy who is desperate to prove to the WWE brass that he is a top guy you have the perfect storm for WM31. The brute strength of Brock Lesnar and the brains of Heyman vs the strength and brains of Cesaro. As my wife says "someone needs to run Brock over with a bus a few times cause the first time is just gonna dent the bus". I think Cesaro will make Lesnar know that he is in a fight even though he won't come out on top.  

Daniel Bryan vs Kurt Angle

  

Hoping both are healthy, to see these to great technicians in a 30 minute falls count anywhere Iron man match would be a dream match to say the least. No doubt in my mind if both are healthy they will dazzle spectators with their counters and submission prowess. The stipulation of falls count anywhere allows for a few different endings as well as helping this match standout even though it doesn't need any help. 

My WM 31 would send 3 future Hall of Famers (Sting, Undertaker, and Angle) out in grand fashion. HHH and The Rock will bridge the gap between past and present and allow the future of WWE to shine bright. WWE would have 4 new pillars to build on with Bray Wyatt, Dean Ambrose, Antonio Cesaro and Daniel Bryan.

NOW ONTO NATHAN'S LIST

By Nathan Neumann

Nathan here and since I need to keep myself occupied on the site until Ring Of Honor starts airing new episodes of ROH TV.  So here goes.... 

Sting vs. The Undertaker

This is probably on the top of every wrestling fans list of matches that they never got to see and now it may never happen.  The Undertaker made his debut at the Survivor Series in 1990 and in 1991 he defeated Jimmy Superfly Snuka at Wrestlemania 7 to claim his first victim in a long list of wrestlers of whom he would defeat to create what was known (up until Wrestlemania 30 anyway) as the Streak.  At a time where WWE and WCW were at war, The Undertaker was one of two guys (the other being Shawn Michaels) who never made the jump to WCW.  The other man in this equation is the iconic Sting, a man who has never stepped foot in Vince McMahon’s ring. He is without a doubt the most successful wrestler of our generation to have never worked for WWF/E.  There was a rumor that the WWE was trying to get Sting for Wrestlemania 27 in order to do Sting vs. Taker at said event.  There is also a popular rumor that the original 2/21/11 vignettes were originally meant for the man they call Sting.  Sting has admitted in interviews that at the time he was close to signing with the company but it didn’t happen.  Fast forward to 2014 a year where Sting was included in WWE 2K15 as a pre order exclusive, could the match be on the horizon?  Or could we see Sting finally make his long awaited WWE debut in the ring opposite someone other than the Undertaker? Only time will tell and that’s the fun of being a wrestling fan.

Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Hulk Hogan

This is a match that I really wanted to see back in 2002 and according to Stone Cold Steve Austin, it was supposed to happen at Wrestlemania 18.  Hulk Hogan was the most popular wrestler of the 1980’s bringing wrestling to the forefront and giving it the national exposure that it has today. He was the WWF World Champion for four years and the fans loved him.  Hulkamania was running wild everywhere and you couldn’t escape it.  He would go on to lose the title at Wrestlemania 6  to the Ultimate Warrior and he would never be the same again.  However upon his return to WWE in 2002 after leaving the WWE for Ted Turner’s WCW in 94, when Vince McMahon was promoting the “New Generation”, we were close to seeing him meet the most popular wrestler in the 1990’s Stone Cold Steve Austin. Stone Cold Steve Austin rose to prominence in the WWF after arriving there in 1996 after being fired from WCW by executive producer Eric Bischoff.  He would have a short stint in ECW prior to jumping to WWE.  WWE couldn’t figure out what to do with him right way saddling him with the Ringmaster gimmick and giving him a mouthpiece in Ted Dibiase as well as the Million Dollar Championship.  Eventually Steve pitched the idea to Vince McMahon about changing his character and Stone Cold Steve Austin was born soon after.  He would go on to have an amazing match at Wrestlemania 13 with Bret The Hitman Hart (my personal favorite match of all time) in a losing effort in a submission match after he passed out from excessive blood loss.  Fast forward a year later, where he would win the WWF Title and rise to prominence defeating arguably the greatest performer in WWF history, The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels.  Fast-forward to June 2002 where Steve Austin walked out of the company apparently fed up with the creative direction of his character and not getting a match that he wanted back at Wrestlemania 18.  According to Austin he was supposed to have a one on one match vs. Hollywood Hogan at the aforementioned event, but the WWE thought that Hogan vs. The Rock was the better match.  As a fan of Austin, I highly disagree and I feel this match would have done more business for the company.  I had no problem with the Hogan vs. Rock match, but Hogan vs. Austin will always be a huge what if to me.

Bret Hart vs. Kurt Angle

Like the previous two matches that I mentioned in this article, this match at no point could have happened.  By the time Kurt Angle made his debut for the WWE in 1999, it was long after Bret Hart had left due to the Montreal Screwjob on November 9^, 1997.  However, there is no doubt in my mind that if The Montreal Screwjob hadn’t happened then Bret would have stayed and we would have had a match that could have been considered one of the greatest matches of all time.  However we will never know how good this match could have been.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kurt Angle

This is another match that at no point could have realistically happened (unless you believe the articles claiming that Kurt Angle will return to the WWE and they will let him wrestle), but I feel this match could have been a masterpiece. Kurt Angle at one point in time was considered by many to be the greatest wrestler of his generation and many consider Daniel Bryan aka Bryan Danielson to be the best all around wrestler in the world today (sans injury). If these two men could have met in the ring, it would have been a work of art and a bonafide masterpiece. However, this match will probably never come to fruition because even if Kurt Angle signs with WWE, I doubt they would let him wrestle or that he could pass their physical.

Trish Stratus vs. Beth Phoenix

The last choice of mine for this list may shock you, but women’s wrestling still has its appeal (just not in today’s WWE sadly).  One of the greatest women’s matches I've ever seen was Mickie James challenging Trish Stratus for the WWE Women’s Championship.  I got to witness it live and in person, and it was a damn good match by women’s wrestling standards. The storyline was great (its since been duplicated to no avail) and the match definitely delivered. While Trish Stratus went into the match the face and Mickie the heel, the fans thought different.  It was truly bizzaro world in Chicago Illinois that night as Mickie James received all of the cheers and Trish the boos.  Beth Phoenix in her own right was a fantastic women’s wrestler she really stuck out like a sore thumb (in a good way) in the climate she was in because none of the other women wrestlers could hold a candle to her except for Natalya Neidhart.  Speaking of Nattie, her and Beth would go on to form the Divas of Doom tag team that terrorized the entire Diva’s division while Beth Phoenix was the Diva’s champion.  I have heard rumors of this match happening back when Beth Phoenix was still active, but now that Beth Phoenix has retired and since Trish Stratus remains retired to this day, this match is a big what if scenario in women’s wrestling.  Would it have been a great match?  We will never know the answer to that question. 

Well that does it for me and this list of fantasy match ups, what are some of yours? Be sure to let us know by following @eyesonthering on twitter and letting us know what some of your dream matches would be.  Until then I am Nathan saying so long for now and keep your eyes on the ring for some great content from all of us at eyesonthering.blogspot.com

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Eyes on the Ring 2:10 AM  No comment

Future of Wrestling Series Part 2: Deandre Jackson

Deandre Jackson is the man of 1004 monikers, at a young age the wrestling business captured his attention and imagination. The fast paced action and the intense storyline was an allure that he naturally gravitated to. He is an avid collector of wrestling DVD’s and memorabilia.  Blessed with the gift of gab he captures the attention of every audience member. The Spartanburg, SC native began blazing his trail on the Southeaster Indy wrestling scene in 2007. He was trained by Chief Jay Eagles at his school in Spartanburg SC.  While learning the basics and taking his bumps, Deandre also continued his education at South Carolina State University where he obtained a degree in Early Childhood Development, his desire to train and become a professional wrestler never wavered. He trained on weekends and school breaks as he was eager to gain wrestling knowledge.

Despite not having a typical training schedule on June 14, 2008 Deandre debuted for American Pro Wrestling in Spartanburg, SC. Being in front of a home crowd gave him the courage to compete in not one but 2 matches on the card. The first match being a Bare Foot Battle Royal and even though he didn’t last long in the battle royal, he was not discouraged setting his sights on his first singles match as a pro wrestler. Later that same night he faced off against Nick Fury. This match he displayed a little more skill, but he was still very green and lost via submission. Even with the lost he was ecstatic to be following his dream and in the footsteps of Booker T, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit, and Dusty Rhodes all of whom were his favorites to watch as a kid.

Over the years Deandre has become accustomed to the road life, traveling up I-95, I-85, I-20 and I-77 wrestling for various promoters under various ring names; Kronik and his given name Deandre Jackson being the most frequently used.  As a big man Mr. 1004 monikers as he is now called has a unique style all of his own. At the right moment he can leap in the air and hit his opponent hit a devastating drop kick, hurricanrana, or head to the top rope and land with great force, all of which is rare for a guy 6’3 270lbs. He also can brawl with the best land bruising elbows, punches and a stiff running clothesline. Opponents a very aware not to get caught by the “Three Homies”, in tribute to the late great Latino Heat Eddie Guerrero, he catches opponents with 3 consecutive gut wrench suplexes.

Although there are many pitfalls in the Indy scene, Deandre has endured everything from bad promoters not keeping their word on pay, to getting lost going in some small rural towns, even working sick. These rough occurrences cannot put out the passion that he has for wrestling and entertain the fans no matter how large or how small. His perseverance has led to him wrestling frequently for Southern States Wrestling (SSW), Old School Championship Wrestling (OSCW) and Platinum Championship Wrestling (PCW). Today he is the current Southern States Champion and OSCW Intercontinental Champion, his hard work is paying off. You can also find him on social media killing the hashtags and posting funny pictures @mr1004monikers on both Instagram and twitter. You can keep an eye out on when Deandre Jackson will be in your area at modernlegendstatus.weebly.com.

-@BigJonDaLegend 

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Eyes on the Ring 3:37 PM  No comment

Worst Gimmicks in Wrestling History, Part Two

Speed on the Beat here, picking up the bloodied carcass of what remains of my childhood after True eviscerated it, to deliver even more of some of the worst gimmicks in wrestling history. And for once, I'm not really trolling with this (that much). It was just that easy.

LOD 2000

It's as if Vince and company sat down one day during the early days of the Attitude Era, pulled out the drugs and popped a couple of mollies. But, of course, instead of rolling, sweating, and hitting some biddies with the genetic jackhammer (I never thought I'd ever have to type that out), something else happened. The end result of the conversation must have been "hey, let's make something for the wrestling fan of now! Something hip, something trendy, something that screams 'future!' Never mind the fact that Tekno Team 2000 already existed and failed with a similar type of name/gimmick. Let's reinvent LOD and make them...new!" Now, let it be known that The Road Warriors were one of the greater tag teams in history. But, this rehash, complete with Sunny, an alcoholism-fueled feud, and Droz ('memba him?) makes LOD 2000 quite shake-your-head-in-shame-worthy. At least they got the return pop, right?

Mantaur

Do I really need to explain this one? The New Generation was crap, but this guy took the crap cake. And this was a generation that began somewhere around the time Ultimate Warrior puking his guts out from Papa Shango's voodoo mystery powers. At least we know where El Torito came from. Watch the above video, and you'll see damn near everything wrong with the New Generation.

Papa Shango

While we're on Papa Shango, what in the actual hell? Was one savage black guy not enough for early-1990s WWE? Did we really need two? I guess we did, if you let the above video tell it. From Shango's first non-jobber appearance (his late run-in at WrestleMania VIII) to his...y'know what? The gimmick was trash. I can't even talk much on it. It wasn't scary, it was nonsensical (and not even in the fun way), and--had it happened about twelve years later--The Godfather would receive "SHAAAAAN-GOOOOO" chants every time he stepped out with his hoes. At least with Kamala, we got his rant-y, comedic, produced-on-a-1981-Casio song "Push It," which was about racism (and more) in WWE. Papa Shango, as Papa Shango at least, gave us no such epicness.

Oz

From the minds who brought you Arachnaman and Seven comes Kevin Nash in a green cape, "silver" hair, a removable beard (take that, Daniel Bryan), and Merlin the Magician as his manager, all walking out to a late-1980s country rock theme. 

Wait, what?

Yeah, someone must have taken a hit from Vince's stash when they were thinking this one up. Never mind the fact that the Wizard of Oz was really a tiny, little man who decided to embiggen people with wisdom and not actually a giant. The bigger picture is the many types of genre-crossing we saw with this gimmick. Thankfully, cooler heads prevailed and Kevin Nash went Diesel. And then he joined the NWO. Yay.

Lord Tensai

Now, we know that the man now known as Jason Albert hasn't had the greatest run of luck in the WWE. You could almost make a list like this just based on the gimmicks he's had. But, Lord Tensai was, to me, the Asian equivalent of Kerwin White and Johnny B. Badd.

As you can clearly see, Jason Albert is a big white guy who used to be known as "A-Train" and "Prince Albert." Said big white guy went to Japan for a few years (where he was quite popular). Apparently, this popularity went to his head as he returned to the WWE as a big white guy in "traditional" Japanese garb, with a worshipper and green mist. And to top it all off, after he started beating the holy beejeezus out of his manager Sakamoto (who, per Wrestle-1 and TNA, is a "global phenomenon" now), he ended up becoming one half of Tons of Funk. That is, before Brodus Clay Tyrus kicked the crap out of him. Now, Albert (cue the chants) works in the performance center.

Jamison

Even if it was acceptable in the '80s (hey OSW Review), Jamison was...a failure all around. He was pretty much a parody of wrestling fans, a prototype to Triple H's "My Friend Mark" even. At least he got to meet Heather Hunter, I guess? Closest I've gotten to meeting a porn star was having Aurora Jolie in my DMs, having a couple cam girls send me videos, and True having Teanna Trump on TeamDAR Radio (but that's something entirely different). Yes, I'm aware that Jamison was a manager (?) and not really a wrestler, but for Pete's sake...this guy was horrid. And anytime you have a gimmick who looks like the damned Six Flags Guy, but over nine-thousand times less cool, you've got a problem.

Max Moon

If wrestling really was like a video game, this Mega Man-meets-Buck Rogers in the 25th Century rip-off would be cool. The kids would love him, and he'd probably be bigger than Cena. Konnan would probably be taken as less of a groan-worthy, gripe-filled, race baiter (mind you that these are words I've seen written about Konnan; my views are something I'll get into at a later date). But, alas, we live in the real world, where laser cannons don't really exist, and are replaced by techno-aided sparkler guns. And while Konnan is a pretty legit talent, you could've put Hulk Hogan in this gimmick and it would've failed. Hell, Hulk Hogan was in this gimmick and it failed.

In closing, wrestling fans often have to put up with a lot of foolishness to get to the good parts. For every Pipebomb, there is a Jamison hiding his crotch with a pillow at the sight of a porn star (hyuck-hyuck). Thankfully, cooler heads tend to prevail and these gimmicks are ended as soon as they begin. Most of the time, at least (I'm looking at you, John Cena). Sure, there are talents who can overcome bad gimmicks. For example, Kane was once the Christmas Creature, Stone Cold was once The Ringmaster, and Dolph Ziggler was once Nicky from the Spirit Squad. But more often than not, a crap gimmick will ingrain a mental image into the minds of fans everywhere.

That mental image tells fans to run away. Run far the fuck away.

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Eyes on the Ring 2:31 PM  No comment